Fatherless to Fatherhood

My mother's tears were so loud it sounded like a thunderstorm.

I was too young to know how to give tissue to someone crying, but somehow, I thought to go to the bathroom, grab a roll of toilet paper, and hand it to my mother.

After my mother picked me up from school a few days later, we headed to a family member's house. I remember asking my mom about my father, and she replied, "He's not coming back."

My heart sank. It felt like I was anchored to the bottom of the ocean, with no hope of returning to shore. I couldn't swim anyway, so drowning wasn't a bad alternative.

Although I now lived in a single-parent home, it didn't feel like one. My dad was doing God knows what, so not having him around wasn't unusual. However, this time, it was permanent.

I saw, heard, done, and had things done to me that no child should endure. My father wasn't there to protect me. He was a man's man, but abandoning his family exposed him for who he indeed was: a little boy.

Now, I'm alone, navigating this world without any guidance. I needed my father, but he was AWOL. He deserted his family and started a new one, neglecting the family he already had.

Thankfully, God had other plans. Growing up in church helped me. I used to love singing in the choir, playing the tambourine during worship, and shouting (dancing). Although the theology was far from solid, the Lord's kept me from getting bitten by wolves.

God was merciful to me and saved me from my sins. He blessed me with a beautiful wife and daughter. They mean the world to me. I have the most significant duty in the world: to love my wife as Christ loves the Church and to train my daughter to love the Lord with all her heart, mind, and strength. (Ephesians 5:25-33, 6:4)

I look at my wife and daughter daily, and my heart overflows with love. They bring me so much joy—that I couldn’t begin to understand how someone could consciously decide to abandon their family.

God, I love You and praise Your holy name. Thank You for keeping my mother and me safe all those years. We experienced adversity but got through it together because of You. All glory, honor, and praise belong to you.

Lastly, thank You for not abandoning me when my father did.

'Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord cares for me.'

Psalm 27:10 (HCSB)